Best Bro Bonding Time
by HolyJegusHomestuck
Summary: So Dave goes to badly portrayed Johns house and Bro comes along and they stay there for a bit. Going to say more T to M, because of language and possible smut stuff. -sucks at summaries-


By the way, I suck as John, so bear with me.

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=Be John

"Oh! Hey, Dave!" you say cheerily, as you open your door to be greeted by your good- and rather short, -blonde haired friend.

"Hey." He says, looking up at you in his cool-kid manner. You sigh at him, noticing that he was wearing his black aviators, as usual. "You know, Dave..." You say, trying to not be mean, seeing as he just arrived, "It's in the middle of the winter right? I don't think that sunglasses are necessary." Dave just shrugs, not making a move to take them off. You sigh again, but then smile, returning to your previous cheery attitude. "Well, come on in, then!" You open your arms to him as he enters your household.

"Thanks, Egbert." He steps in your house, taking off his shoes, and giving you a hug. For the irony, as he would say. "Is your dad home?"

"Naw." you respond, looking at him. "Why? Did you fly in from Texas to do something dirty?" You wink at him teasingly, and he rolls his eyes from behind his shades. "That's totally why I'm visiting. Although, whether I was here or not, all I'd have to do is message you a picture of Nick Cage in Con-Air and you'd be all over me." He smirks at you, as you start to deny it. "Oh, and your dad did tell you right?"

"Tell me what...?" You ask, furrowing your eyebrows and waiting for an explanation.

"That my Bro and I are staying at your house for a few weeks while he's gone?" he waves his hand. "Wherever that guy goes all the time. Don't tell me you forgot about it, it's been planned for a few weeks."

You raise an eyebrow, curious for a second, until the thought clicks into place. "Oooohhhh." You shake your head, remembering now. "You're right. I forgot." You smile, a little embarrassed.

"C'mon, Egderp, how could you forget your best bro like that? I mean, one of the few times I can visit and you just forgot..." Dave makes a hurt face, placing a hand over his heart. You just roll your eyes at him, sticking out your tongue. "Whatever, dude. I didn't forget. The thought process just left my mind for a moment."

He laughs. "You're such a dork, my little Egderp."

"Your _little_ Egbert?" You raise another eyebrow at him, crossing your arms.

"Yes, you're my _little_ Eg_d__erp_." He interjects, giving you yet another smirk.

You sigh, rolling your eyes at him. "Your little Eg_derp_, huh?" He nods again. "Says the one who's five feet tall." He rolls his eyes at you, while you continue, "When I'm five foot seven or taller." You stand by him and look down at him for emphasis. "Also, I can see over you, and practically pick you up and cradle you like a baby."

"Hey. No way." Dave shakes his head, straightening up, while _still _being much shorter than you. "_I_ am not short, Egbert. You're just a gog damn... Mutant, or giant, or some shit. Not natural. Plus," he adds, "You probably just grew a _little _before me. I bet you I'll be a foot taller than you when we're older." You snicker at him using the word little. Standing on his toes, trying to level with your height, you laugh. You find him so adorable when he's trying to make up for his lack in height.

"Dream on, Oompa Loompa." you say, mentally patting yourself on the back for the nickname and it's ironic implications. Dave would be proud, if he wasn't mad at you for breaking the truth of his height to him. Your friend sticks his tongue out at you, causing you to laugh again and return the gesture.

= Be Dave

Gog, you love his laugh so much.

As he giggled at his own stupid nickname for you, you couldn't hide a small smile, which, if noticed, could be pulled off as a magnificently ironic smirk, showing that you were about to show up his shitty Willy Wonka name calling, even though you probably couldn't at the moment. Hopefully he just doesn't notice it.

"So, bro." You look at him once he slows down laughing. "Do you want to help us unpack our bags...? Or are you just going to watch us do all the manual labor?"

"Oh!" John nods. "Well, I should come to help you out, how rude of me..." He puts his shoes back on while you do the same, humming the Ghostbusters theme song quietly, but not quietly enough that you couldn't hear him.

If there's somethin' strange, in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? Gho- Shit. He got it stuck in your head. You'll have to thump him for repeating the same verse eventually, so you decide to get your revenge whenever it starts getting really irritating.

"So, Dave." John says, fixing his glasses as he grabs your red duffel bag out of the car, "How's Karkat? Are you guys still..." He gives you a look, and you just sigh, feeling a little heavier as a pit forms in your stomach. "No, we're not still together, if that's what you're asking."

"Aw!" John frowns. "But you liked him so much! And it looked like he liked you a lot, too... What happened?"

"He was a dick, that's what happened." You mutter, slamming the trunk after grabbing your phone out of the backseat. Bro looks at you as John wilts more, looking sorry for you. "You didn't tell me he broke it off with you, little man." Bro walks over to you with his stuff, saying a quick hey to John.

"Yeah, well, I didn't think it was important, it just happened this weekend." You shrug, and Bro nods, as if he understands. "Well, don't worry about it, there will always be someone else. Isn't that right, John?" He pulls down his shades slightly, and winks. John nods as you blush bright red, calculating how far you could shove your fist up his ass without breaking your arm.

"I'm sure you'll find someone! You're really nice, and a great dude, so I wouldn't worry." John gives you a smile and a hug, before treading inside. As soon as he disappears inside, you storm over to Bro. "What the hell was that for!?"

"What the hell was what for, little man?" He asks, in an innocent tone of voice, ruffling your hair and grinning.

"You hinting at John that I had a crush on him, asshat." You growl and fix your hair. "We're just bros, and we wouldn't be anything else." You cross your arms. "Plus," you add, with a hint of sadness, "I'm pretty sure he's straight anyway, so I should probably not even let the idea get in my head."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Blows, but I'm proud of you for thinking all that out before rushing in, little bro. That's something a real Strider would do." Bro looks up at the house. "He's got a nice ass, though."

"BRO, DON'T FUCKING SAY THAT! YOU'RE 25!" You yell, as your brother laughs and throws all the stuff he was going to carry onto you and runs inside, and you sit fuming outside with his things as well as yours, along with a little note that says 'I'm gonna tell him~ -TT'

You quickly run inside and toss the baggage at your brother, standing near John and he dodges it, quickly tackling you and pinning you to the ground, as you struggle underneath him to beat him. John just stares with wide eyes, his mouth slightly open as his new guests wrestle and curse on his carpet.

"Well." Bro pants, with you struggling and pinned down under his knee. "This is going to be fun. Don't you think, John?" He looks over at your friend. John nods, speechless.

Dammit, Bro.


End file.
